Parts of Self 101: Core Self, Exiles, Managers, & Firefighters

What are Parts?

We all have a family on the inside. Our inner family is reflective of many of the family dynamics on the outside of a person. Dr. Richard Schwartz is the originator of what is known as Parts of Self. I highly recommend his book No Bad Parts. He observed that families exist both externally and internally. The crux of parts is that our core identity or concept of self becomes burdened and fractured. Children come into this world pure, innocent, and unencumbered. But that begins to change as we experience disappointment, shame, and trauma. When our sense of self becomes burdened, we develop 'parts' of self that take on extreme beliefs.

To understand this, let's start with who we are at our core, the Imago Dei.

Core Self - The Imago Dei

Imago Dei is Latin for “image of God”; it is who we are at our core, reflecting the qualities of God, such as the fruit of the Spirit in biblical terms or the Eight Cs in IFS terms

Genesis 1:26-27 says we are made in God’s image, created to reflect His character and goodness in the world. This identity is unshakable and true of every person. Over time, however, the parts of us that carry burdens from pain, shame, or unmet needs can cloud our experience of God’s intention for us and make it harder to live out of our truest self, an image bearer.

Internal Family Systems (IFS) describes something similar in its concept of the Core Self. IFS teaches that our Core Self is never damaged or lost. It is the place within us that is compassionate, calm, curious, and capable of healing. The problem is not the loss of the Core Self (God Image), but the protective strategies of our parts that step in when pain feels overwhelming.

Through the redemptive work of Jesus and the ongoing presence of the Holy Spirit, we are invited back into alignment with this God-given identity — living more fully from the Self God created, rather than from our protective or burdened parts. 

This is where exiles and protectors come in. They are not who we are at our core, but strategies that form to manage pain. Understanding them helps us reconnect with the indestructible image of God — and begin living more fully from our true self.

Exiles

Exiles are the inner children within a person that have taken on extreme beliefs. The key here is: these are young, under-developed parts of our personality. As a result, these inner children are frozen in scenes from the past. The reason these parts are called exiles has to do with the way our psyche reacts to these inner children. Sadly, our inner children are the parts of us that are suppressed, banished, neglected, ignored, abandoned, rejected, or exiled. These parts of us have intense feelings and are treated like a nuisance by our other parts. Our inner children are stuck and are not able to break free from childhood messages. Our exiles attract two types of protector parts: managers and firefighters.

Managers

Managers are inner children that have taken on extreme roles in response to the exiles. Manager parts are consumed by keeping the exiles from becoming triggered. Our exiles have big feelings that freak our manager parts out and managers will suppress, silence, or escort exiles away from the scene. The ironic thing about managers is that they are young too! In fact, the inner critic is a parentified inner child who takes on the appearance of an adult. The inner critic is a particular type of manager part that acts older than it really is. Managers suppress because they protect the status quo. They don't like change or the unknown. Managers become overwhelmed and can keep us in a state of rigidity. But we have to remember that managers are first and foremost protective of exiles. But the way that our managers protect us is problematic for a variety of reasons. However, when managers become overwhelmed, firefighters step in to dramatically reduce whatever is triggering the exiles.

Firefighters

Firefighters are summoned when the managers are overmatched by a situation or circumstance. Again, firefighters and managers are protective. I cannot underscore how important this is when addressing the process of unburdening our parts. Firefighters primarily use distraction as a mechanism versus managers that employ suppression. Firefighters can use many things to distract us: rage, dissociation, substances, suicide, self-harm, porn, sex, social media, politics, escapism, compulsions, lying, over-eating, binging, spending money to offset the pain of our exiles. Firefighters can make a mess in putting out the fire, and the managers get upset about having to clean up the damage the firefighters made. There is great tension between managers and firefighters. Christians have invisible dilemmas, and this tension between managers and firefighters is one of many.

The First Step

I cannot express the world of difference it has made to introduce parts of self to Christians. I use it with 100% of my clients, whether it's faith or secular, coaching or clinical. It works, period. However, I have had to develop an approach that works with Christians because most Christians have a tough time grasping parts in the beginning. Parts usually feels foreign and awkward for Christians. Disciples usually struggle the most with grasping their sense of self. They are able to identify their parts fairly easily though.

I want to suggest watching the movie Inside Out. It gives a person a funny, insightful, visual understanding of parts of self. I can assure you, parts of self will make a lot more sense for the average Christian after watching the movie Inside Out.

Kyle

*The above photo was taken from https://phildelahaye.com/internal-family-systems-and-chronic-pain/

*Edited by Aiden Gober